The Notebook- Does Love Like That Exist?

This is a follow up to my friend Sarah Sheldon's incredible story of how her grandparents met, fell in love, and stayed in love until their last day's . Please read this at it is much more powerful than anything I could ever hope to write.

"So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day." -The Notebook

I love "chick flicks" and I am happy to admit it. In fact, I don't understand why more guys don't like them or rather don't admit they do. Don't you go to the movies to feel happy? I do. That is what these movies do. But I digress....

Tuesday night I watched the Notebook for the first time in years. For anyone who hasn't seen it I won't go into details on the storyline, but it is basically the best love story ever this side of Love Actually. As I was watching the story of Allie and Noah I got to thinking, could this happen in today's world? Does the true love they had for each other still exist? Or has it ever existed? The answer to both of these questions is; Absolutely.

Let's talk about love for a second. Love makes no sense. The people that look best for us on paper often turn out to be totally wrong for us in the end. I've always thought my dream girl would be a 2pac loving, kayaker, that plays basketball and likes Dunkin Donuts, but we probably wouldn't get along. Chemistry is not something that can be explained, it just happens.

I disagree with the old adage that there is one person for everyone. That's simply not true. At the same time there probably are only about 100 people in the world that you truly belong with. Only a lucky few of us ever meet that one person, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't stop looking.

Back in the day there were less options. There were no phones or emails to communicate in between dates. You had your time with the girl or guy and then had to wait until the next time you saw them to continue  your courtship.  Yes, technology has changed love, but it hasn't changed its inner core. Sure, you can text, email, skype, and whatever else kids do these days, but you actually have to be with that person for love to grow. 

The culture of love has changed a lot as well. The divorce rate is 50% with another 20% probably only staying with each other out of comfort. With online dating people from all over the world can now get together. People are marrying at a later age and some choose not even to get married. We have grown into more of an independent culture, which is in itself is a good thing. However, where does that leave true love?

I've never felt about anyone like Noah felt for Allie, but I do believe she's out there. I think love conquers all. Life is unpredictable. You have bad days and good days. But if you find love nothing else really matters. If at the end of the day you can go home to your Allie or Noah everything is okay in this world. We should all strive for this kind of love because all of us deserve it. Remember, you never know when you'll meet that one person that you can't live without.

The Beauty of Bromance

There is nothing quite like a good old-fashioned bromance. Guys often don't express their feelings to each other because it isn't masculine or accepted in society. Screw that. While romantic love with the opposite sex is full of ups and downs and usually ends up in heartbreak, your relationship with your "bro's" last a lifetime.

My best friend in the world Jim( Jimbutta) Gallant came into town last weekend from Medfa, MA. We had a blast playing beer pong, jamming out to 2pac, Tom Petty, and Billy Joel, and reminiscing about the college days. I miss him already. In college, we did everything together. Drinking beer, listening to Roxanne before a night out at Charlie's, talking about the girls or lack of girls in our life. It was bromance to the extreme.

I have the same thing with Pogo and Dan now (Milano is coming close into that category). I can shoot the shit with them and say anything. You don't worry about being late to something, or some petty BS fight you get into. You work things out as dudes.
Why don't guys express emotions to each other? Why can't we do the same things as girls (without the physical stuff because that would just be weird). Why can't we be that open? Who started this whole societal acceptance thing and why did it happen? I can tell you right now that if you get any guy drunk enough they will talk about how much they appreciate and love another person as their friend. They will do it because they mean it. Fortunately for me I was brought up with a family that encouraged me to be honest and open about everything.
My favorite bromance activity is kayaking on the Potomac. Pogo and I have had some of the best discussions ever out there on the water in the red canoe. Another favorite is watching Patriots games and eating Wings with Jimbo. We would sit for hours not saying a word and it would be perfectly awesome. Also, discussing girls and life with Dan. That's my boo! Milano(Tuna) and I have pretty much just met but I can tell there is a potential bromance down the road. At any rate the beautiful Filipino girl at Adams Corner will keep us coming back.

Bromance's last a lifetime. The best friendships are with people you don't see for years at a time but when you see them again it is like nothing changed. They are forever. On the other hand 50% or more romance's do not. I am a hopeless romantic. I believe in love more than anyone else I know probably. At the same time if I don't ever find that love at least I know I will have guy friends that will always be there for me. Wing men for life.

Your Hero Should be Someone You Know

Who is your hero? Unfortunately for a great many of the people out there they would probably say a person they have never met. I always joke about Larry Bird, 2pac, or Indiana Jones being my heroes, but they are just people I'm in awe of. They haven't been there to listen to me on a bad day or help me with my homework.  I don't know know who they really are.

My hero has and always will be my dad. To me, he's the greatest person who ever lived.  He was there to help me with my homework in school. He's been on hundreds of kayak trips with me where we talk about stuff going on in the world and life in general.  He was there to cook dinner every night for the family after a hard day at work, and still find time to help me with my Spanish afterwards. I'm horrendous at Spanish by the way.  I remember the nights playing Parcheesi and listening to Oldies 100. I remember him driving me to Langley High School blasting "Hell 4 A Hustler" by 2pac. Ya, my dad even listens to 2pac, but only the hardcore songs. 

For all the great things my dad is, he's the most humble person I've ever met. He has a very successful career, yet you would never know it if you saw him on the weekend. In fact, I remember one day when he visited me at college he laid down under a tree and a cop came up and thought he was a homeless guy. He puts his family first, second, and third.  He's always there to talk to when I need him. He always supports me in all my endeavors. 

To me a hero is someone you know, someone you have spoken to, someone who has made an impact in you life. It doesn't have to be your parents or even someone in your family. Some people have crappy families. It could be a teacher, a coach, some random guy or girl you met at a party.  Everyone needs someone to look up to. Who is your hero?

What I've learned from writing a journal

Yesterday was the 5 year anniversary of my daily journal chronicling events of my life. I began writing the journal in the summer of 2006 after a breakup with my first serious girlfriend. It was a cathartic experience, helping me get my thoughts out in a way that made sense. After that I was hooked. I only wish I had started sooner. I start out every entry with a thought of the day. Sometimes it involves work, sometimes a funny thing that happened, sometimes a girl.   There's always a topic and then I go from there.

It has been the best decision I've ever made. I read the ones from years ago and am amazed how much life has changed. The stuff I used to worry about in college seems ridiculous now. It's also incredible how much life in general is different. When I was with someone, almost every entry was about the ups and downs that is a serious relationship. Now most of my entries revolve work, partying, and the river.

If I've learned anything from this journal it's that no matter how bad of a day you have it will always get better. Just because you are going through a hard time at the moment, doesn't mean things will never be good again.  There will always be better days. 

I recommend everyone write a journal. It doesn't have to be every day, but a couple times a week. 20 years from now when you are married with 3 kids and your memory isn't what it used to be, you can pick up the journal and it will all come back. In the end memories are all we have.

The little moments are what matter

Drinking and grilling with my college buddies. These are the moments that matter

I don't really remember my high school graduation, my senior prom, my first time driving. I remember nights like last Sunday night on the beach drinking Natty Light, talking about life. I remember flashlight tag games with my friends as a kid. I remember playing Parcheesi and listening to Oldies 100 with my dad every night after school. I remember walking to the bars with my best friend Jimbo after drinking and jamming out to Roxanne at my apartment. It's not the big moments that make up your life, but rather the small ones that make us who we are.

A lot of my fondest memories are when I was young. Maybe it's because those are the years I'll never get back. The times my neighbor and I would spend all day building a dam on the Potomac to catch fish, or floating down on an old air mattress. I remember jumping on the trampoline with my cousins from California listening to Great Balls of Fire. I remember the countless scrabble games with my grandma at Fallen Leaf Lake. I remember the basketball games at Village Green, all the parties Jim and I went to at Umass, Billy D's famous dance moves.

It's funny how we are all raised to think certain major events will be the ones we remember. But when you look back I think you'll realize it's the little ones that are embedded in your mind forever.

This is a question for the girls

"This is the opposite of what I am talking about"

I was standing around tonight at a party. Two great guys who are very nice were chillin but the girls went to the guys that pretty much sucked. I'm facsinated by this. Do girls want deuchebags? Are they afraid if they commit to a good guy and get hurt? It actually is really interesting to me. If you are a girl what attracts you to another guy? This is fascinating to me. Guys like girls for what they look like at first but girls don't think the same. Is this biological? I truly am fascinated.

Right now you think I'm some sad, pathetic, resentful guy. I'm really not. I got laid last week but I'd still say this. This fascinates me but I want to know why. Do they want a guy that makes an ass of himself so later they can say that and control the situation? The funny thing is these questions will never be answered because similar to guys girls would never admit any of this. This is a scientific experiment much more interesting than anything I could think of in Science class. What do you think?

My trip to Japan

I never knew that choosing my CACI mentor, former Master Chief Petty Officer of the Navy (MCPON) and Executive Director of the CACI Leadership Program Joe Campa, would lead me to Japan. Mr. Campa asked me to accompany him on his trip to learn first-hand what it’s like to be a leader.


I want to thank him and the Navy Hospital Corpsmen in Yokosuka for making my trip so amazing. I not only got to experience the great country of Japan, but also got to meet some of our US Navy sailors who all treated me with great courtesy. I have such admiration for our Navy servicemen and women around the world.

The flight to Japan was long, but the people around me were very nice. The woman sitting beside me actually brought her dog with her in her carry-on bag. When we arrived at the Narita Airport and got through customs we were greeted by Master Chief Randy Pringle, Chief Mack, and 1st Class Petty Officer Ramirez. On our drive to the Gateway hotel in Yokosuka I got to experience driving on the left side of the road for the first time. Definitely something I’d have to get used to!

Friday was jam packed with Navy events. We started off the day with breakfast with some junior hospital corpsmen. The Navy Hospital Corpsmen are a vital part of the Navy and have helped save numerous soldiers' lives. At the end of the breakfast Mr. Campa gave out military coins to each of the young sailors to thank them for their great work. Afterward, we met with the Captain and Commanding officer of the Navy Hospital, Captain Pachuca and Master Chief Pringle. We then attended a birthday ceremony celebrating 113 years of the Navy Hospital Corpsmen.

Following that I was given a tour of the Blue Ridge Navy ship which was an amazing experience. We met the captain, and Joe gave the All Hands call to the entire crew congratulating them for their excellent service and answering questions about his time with the Navy.

That night we went out to an authentic Japanese Restaurant called Wan Restaurant. It was a unique experience for me. Before going in everyone had to take off their shoes and put them in a small drawer. We then sat on the ground with pillows and had a delicious meal. I even was able to use chop sticks without looking completely incompetent. Afterwards a few Navy sailors and I explored the city and the night life. There is no tipping in Japan. In fact, if you leave a tip some people will chase after you to give you your money back!

Saturday Joe and I went to a Japanese restaurant for lunch and had a delicious meal. The waitress did not speak any English so we had to point to the pictures of the food to order. Afterwards we checked out the Navy Exchange shop and bought some souvenirs. Joe was asked twice for his photo by Navy sailors. He really is a rock star here. That evening we attended the Navy Corpsmen ball at the Mercur hotel in Yokosuka to celebrate its 113th birthday. Mr. Campa was the guest speaker and gave a great speech honoring the corpsemen. It was an outstanding event and a great experience.

Sunday Joe and I attended the barbecue of Command Master Chief of the Blue Ridge Navy ship. Mr. Campa’s old shipmates were there as we the first ever MCPOC of the Japanese Navy which was quite an honor. The next day we were taken to the airport and back to America.


I experienced so much on my trip. One my favorite things about Japan were definitely Chu-Hi's, a vodka flavored drink that tastes like soda. The food was outstanding as well though I have to admit at times I didn't know what I was eating. The Japanese people were so nice and polite. We in America could learn a few things. I was also amazed at how efficient everything was in Japan. It took us about 5 minutes to get through security and customs there. They also told me the DMV takes under 30 minutes in Japan. Can you believe that?

 Everyone treated me with the utmost respect. I also want to state how impressed I was with all of the Navy sailors and Chiefs I met. They were gracious hosts and I feel blessed that they are protecting our country.


The respect Joe Campa received was tremendous. He is famous on base and you can tell how much admiration they all have for him. We were stopped almost everywhere we went for photos. He gave several great speeches to sailors about the importance of their service and how it can develop them as leaders in the future. You could tell everyone was ecstatic about his visit.


If you had told me a month ago I would have the opportunity to go to Japan with Joe Campa I would not have believed you. I feel truly honored that Mr. Campa gave me the opportunity to travel to Japan. I look forward to my next trip there. It was truly an experience I will never forget.