Life gets better as you get older

Life keeps getting better as I have entered my last year in my 20's. It just keeps getting more fun. I don't know if I have just have a better, or rather more optimistic perspective on what is good and bad or what it is. For me, as a 29 year old I am more established and know more about what I want than I did at 22. Every day for me is pretty awesome. I think we equate getting older as life getting worse  because we hear that is what is supposed to happen. Sure, there are things I wish I could do now that I can't. I can't play 6 games of basketball in a row anymore without feeling that I'm going to have a heart attack. I can't eat 6 bagels without knowing I'll have to work out for 17 hours the next day to work it off. I can't wake up after a bender and run 5 miles.

Notice, what I said before were all physical symptoms.  Mental is more important in life, and as you get older most of us get mentally stronger. We start figuring stuff out. I know what I want to do for the rest of my life, but more importantly what I DON't want to do.  I'm as confident and comfortable in my own skin as I have ever been. I know what people I want and don't want in my life. I'm done with school and understand and accept  what I want for a career. It is all coming together.

It's funny, I remember 5 years ago or so my Dad and I were kayaking and he said to me, "Life is better now, better than ever." My dad is my idol and someone I try to strive to be everyday even though I can never be as great a man as him.  Anyway, when I heard that I chuckled to myself thinking this was just something a Dad would say. Could that actually be true? But youth is gone? Now, as I reflect on that I can see why he said that and why it is true. He has done everything he's wanted to do. He is fulfilled, which I think is basically what we all want as humans. We all want to be fulfilled. What a cool place to be.

Let's not think of getting older as a bad thing. Let's reverse that thought and realize that we are older, wiser ,stronger, and able to build more lasting relationships(I know I sound like Dr. Phil). We get to become experts in our field of choice. We don't have to choose between getting food and beer. We realize who we are. I don't know about you, but bring on 30,40 and 50. Life keeps getting better and the dream lives on.

2013-What a Year it was

I can't believe it has been 6 months since I wrote in this blog. Unacceptable! 2013 was truly one of the best and most interesting of my 28 years on this earth. Like any year it had a few downs(getting laid off), but even that turned out for the best.

Simply put, a ton of life events happened. I got let go from the only job I had ever known since college, then jumped into a completely new field all within 2 months. I graduated with my Masters during all of this all the while learning the ropes in my NOVA SHRM Volunteer role. There were few dull moments, but that is how life should be. We only get one of these so we might as well do stuff.

What I am most happy about is not the actual events, parties, kayak trips, Dunkin Donuts Ice Coffee's,etc I had. Rather, it is what I learned about myself. I've always been a person that is extremely open and relatively confident in who I am, but this year I think I reached the pinnacle of accepting who I am and who I am not and not feeling bad about it. That is not to say there aren't things I still want to change or rather improve on, but I am okay with knowing I will always have my faults.

I've always been hard on myself, but I realize now that I can't change who I am and frankly I wouldn't want to.  I am an incredibly forward, honest person who has little to no shame. Does it frighten off some people? Probably, but they aren't worth it anyway. 2013 was the year I completely 100% realized who I am and what I value in life. This is something I don't take for granted as I realize many people never figure it out. I am one of the lucky ones.

Life keeps getting better with age. I always hear people say they hate getting older, but I am having as much or more fun now than I ever had. I also feel more stable than ever knowing what I want to do in my career, finishing school, and realizing what is most important to me both in my personal and professional life.  I always tell people when they ask me how I am, that I am "livin the dream" because I am totally free and at peace everyday. Nothing is holding me back from what I want to do and if that isn't living the dream I don't know what is.

2014 is going to be a great year where I will keep improving and keep realizing things about myself. I look forward to new friendships, maybe even a love interest if I can find a girl that can handle my ridiculousness, and new career opportunities. Life is unpredictable and shit happens, but if you stay positive and put yourself in the position to succeed things usually turn out alright. Here's to hoping for another epic year.

Favorite Moments

Day long kayak trip with my Dad
Receiving Academic Excellence Award for my Grad Program
Karl on the Kayak video sessions with my best friend Dan
Representing NOVA SHRM at the State Conference
The May Kentucky Derby Party in New York
Sunday Funday in Boston in September with 3 of my best friends and basically every Boston trip
Sunset Kayaking on the Potomac
Red Sox and Patriots Meetups and the people I met

Goals for 2014:

Lose 25 pounds
Eat healthier and be healthier
Handle my money better(See Mom I listen)
Learn to say "No" more often
Take more career chances

My journey from Sequestration to Capital Caring

I'm writing this to not just tell my story, but to hopefully help others who have experienced or who have known someone that was laid off.  Believe it or not, getting laid off sometimes can be for the best, as it can lead you to different, more exciting opportunities. At least it did for me.

My story begins around 10 am April 11th.  I was called into my boss's office for a meeting where I was told that my position was being eliminated due to sequestration.  I had been looking for other opportunities and all of us had known sequestration was going to hit at some point, but it didn't prepare me for the moment. The biggest thing was the finality of it all.

I always had this idea in my head that I'd say goodbye to all my Alumni candidates I had worked with for so many years. That I would say goodbye to all my coworkers. But instead, I packed things up and left. Just like that, over 5 years at CACI over in an instant.

My feelings were mixed. A part of me was hurt, a part sad, a part happy, a part angry. But mostly I was just kind of in a shocked daze.  CACI was part of my identity for so long and now it was my past.  I was lucky enough to pick up a consultant gig right away through a friend. but it was part time and short term. I was determined to treat my job search like it was a full time job(which it is). Here are some tips for those looking for work. This is what I did and it helped me land a great job at Capital Caring.

1) Never stop making contacts
I know and hang out with a ton of different groups and people. If I ever get married the wedding is going to be a cluster F. It's not only because I enjoy people, but also because I know the bigger your network the better chance you have to land a job. I got my job through Capital Caring through a referral. Applying online is worthless if you don't know someone that has a say in the hiring process. 15 minutes networking and making contacts is more useful than a day of applying online. In fact, I spent whole days just reaching out to people and didn't apply to one job.

2) Update your LinkedIn profile
LinkedIn is one of the best ways to get noticed by recruiters. Keep it up to date. Join groups in your skill areas. For example, Health Care Recruitment, or Financial Professionals in Northern Virginia. Once you are in groups you can reach out directly to people that work for companies and connect with them directly. This is such a great resource, but so many don't know how to utilize it to its full potential.

3) Join groups/associations/organizations

It's not enough to work 9-5, go home and watch TV and expect to be successful anymore. Your job is never safe. I thought I'd never get laid off and I did. Stay active in outside groups to really put yourself out there. Also, in job interviews it looks great that you showed initiative and did things outside of normal working hours.

I always get comments about my role on the NOVA SHRM Board. These groups often are the ways you hear about jobs. I got my job through an email from a NOVA SHRM Board member and I think it was the deciding factor to bring me on. If I had applied online without any contact chances are I would've been rejected because I lacked the healthcare recruiting experience.

You need to be proactive and take ownership of your CAREER. Don't look at things as jobs, look at it as another stepping stone in your career. Sure life is busy, but everyone needs to make time to follow their passion whatever that may be.

4) Message all of your contacts that you are looking for work
Obviously this applies to those that are not currently working, but its of vital importance. The first thing I did when I got laid off was message all my contacts my resume and career summary. You never know who may know of an opportunity available. Don't keep it a secret. If people don't know they can't help you.

5) Send thank you emails after interviews and to people who referred you
This is a lost art but extremely important. These messages don't have to be elaborate. Just a simple, "thank you for taking the time to meet with me this morning. I look forward to hearing from you soon" would suffice. Showing appreciation goes a long way.

6) Develop a career summary and update your resume with IMPACT words

A huge mistake people make is just sending their resume to people with nothing else in the message. In the body of the email you should send your career summary and skill matrix. Talk about your experience( 5 years of Recruiting, program management, etc) education , certifications, and anything else that describes your background. Talk about what you are looking for(be specific), your availability, whether you can relocate, and mention salary is negotiable(this will be a question answered when you talk to someone individually).

For your resume don't talk about just your daily tasks, talk about how they impacted the organization's bottom line. For example instead of saying "recruited Alumni back to CACI" instead say " Increased rehires by 50% over a 3 year span accounting for over 10% of company hires."

7. Follow up and track applications

The first thing I did when I got laid off was create an Excel spreadsheet documenting when I applied, what position I applied for, the POC if I had one, and mst importantly when I last followed up. Don't be afraid to follow up every week. Recruiters are busy and we can sometimes be forgetful. It helps both you and the recruiter.

8. Enjoy your time off

I was lucky enough to get about a month of severance pay, but even with out it I really enjoyed my time away from the daily grind of a full time job. It's nice to be able to go to the river on a random Tuesday afternoon. Life is busy and will only get busier as you get older and are given more responsibilities. Embrace the time off.

Last and most importantly, stay positive. It's tough out there, but it's not impossible. Being sad and resentful gets you nowhere. Pick up odd jobs or volunteer. Stay active. Don't hole yourself up in your house or apartment. Look at it as the companies loss, not yours. CACI was good to me for the most part, but the company I ended with is more suited to who I am. In every job you learn something you can take forward with to the next.

I'm as happy as I've ever been right now and given that I'm basically always happy that is saying something. I'm excited for this next chapter of my life. I'm excited for the challenge and the impact I can have on the organization. Remember, although change is scary sometimes it can make life better.

Feel free to pass this along others or email me directly with questions. Value yourself and what you can bring to to the table, both at work and in life.

The top 11 greatest sentimental jams of all time( It's long so get some popcorn)

This blog has been decades in the making. For anyone who knows me, they know my favorite jams to listen to are sentimental/romance songs. Why? Well, because life is about love, whether it be with a signifigant other,  family, friends, a sport, a place, an animal. Love is awesome. This list was the hardest thing I've had to do since I had to choose my top 5 favorite 2pac songs in high school, but I did my best. Comment below if you agree or disagree.

1. Stand By Me-Ben E. King: Who knows if I'll ever settle down or better yet find a girl crazy enough to marry me, but if I do have a wedding this will my "first dance" song or whatever they call it. I've liked this song since I was a kid and it has gotten even better with age.

"If the sky that we look upon should tumble and fall and the moon is the only light you'll see, no I won't be afraid, no I won't shed a tear, just as long, as you Stand By Me." Is that the greatest line in the history of music. Ya, probably. The background music is amazing as well. A great love song embodies what it means to truly be in love and this is a perfect example.

2. Mandolin Rain-Bruce Hornsby: I'm seeing this guy in concert in August and when this song comes on I will probably run on stage and hug him. What a powerful song. You know it's funny, there isn't one meaning for this song. but I feel like it means different things to everyone. In fact, I don't even know what Mandolin Rain is. What I do know is every time the chorus comes on I get chills. "Listen to the Mandolin Rain!"

3. We've Got Tonight-Bob Seger: I love Bob Seger. Most know him for "Old Time Rock N' Roll" or the Chevy commercial song, but this is his best and most powerful ballad. " We've Got Tonight" talks about having one final night with the person you love. It doesn't matter about tomorrow. It is about enjoying that moment with that special person.  I tear up a bit every time the chorus comes on because I've thought back and had moments like that in my life. " We've Got Tonight, who needs tomorrow?"

4. Wind Beneath My Wings: Bette Midler: Right now this may be my favorite song period. If the chorus doesn't make you shed a tear you have no soul. This was my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary song. Besides my own parents there is no stronger love I've ever seen. I want to love someone like that someday. Every spouse should be the other person's hero. " Did you ever know that you're my hero, and everything I would like to be, I can fly higher than an eagle, you are the wind beneath my wings". Wow, think about that line for a second and tell me this isn't one of the greatest songs of all time. When she sings the last part I get chills. Incredible.

5. End of Innocence/ Heart of the Matter- Don Henley

I'm trying not to put more than one song for each artist on this, but both of these songs are too good to leave off. Don Henley is just incredible. Next to Phil Collins he's probably my favorite singer of all time as he was also lead singer of my favorite rock band of all time, the Eagles. Yes, I love rating things and I'm not going to apologize for it.  End of Innocence is something we can all relate to. It's not necessarily about romance with another person,  it's about the romance of life. It's about getting older and reflecting on the days of your youth. If I had to listen to one song for the rest of my life this would probably be it. When is the End of the Innocence though? I guess it depends on the person, but life will never be the same as when you were a kid.

6.. Heart of the Matter is actually a really sad song in theory. It's about dealing with divorce or a breakup. It is about being able to forgive and be happy for those that you're no longer with.   "But I think it's about forgivenessm  forgiveness,  even if, even if you don't love me anymore."

It takes a big person to forgive people that broke your heartm but part of love is heartbreak and this is what this song is about. Unless you married the first person you loved or at least liked a lot we've all felt this. I can honestly say I cherish all the times I spent with all my ex's even though it didn't necessarily work out. There is no point in being bitter or not wanting someone who once made you smile to be happy.

7. I Can't Fight This Feeling-REO Speedwagon: This will always hold a special place in my heart because it's my first girlfriend and I's song. I was an idiot back then in terms of relationships but I did still love sentimental jams. " It's time to bring this ship into the shore and throw away the oars forever." Amazing line. This is another song that's so easy to relate to anyone who has liked someone but isn't sure how to act on it. It's about loving someone so much they are the only one for you. It's about stopping fighting the feeling and acting. It's awesome.

8. This Magic Moment: The Drifters: This was actually my first love song experience. Heard it when I was like 10 for the first time and to this day it's one of my favorites. I think oldies are the best love songs. Things were more innocent back then." Sweeter than wine, softer than the summer night, everything I want I have whenever I hold you tight. " This Magic Moment, when your lips are close to mine, will love forever, forever till the end of time." The music in this is just incredible. I've had one magic moment before but at the end of the day it didn't work out. It'd be awesome to find someone to have a lot of "Magic Moments" with.

9. Always Be My Baby- Mariah Carey: I love me some Mariah. If you ever come to one of my parties you'll see me put this song on multiple times in a row.  This is in some ways about a crazy girl that won't let go of someone, but if that crazy girl was Mariah that'd be fine. In all seriousness, it's about two people that we're great together, but like most relationships it just doesn't work and people fade apart. However, in some ways they'll always be in each others lives. Some relationships end for different reasons whether it be timing, circumstance, age, etc. But the love will never end and we will always be a part of our past.

10. When a Man Loves a Woman: Are you still reading? probably not. In the Twitter age a paragraph is too long.This is another song I'll play at my wedding if that ever happens. This is a pretty obvious message. When you love someone you'll do anything for them. Never felt thism but my parents have this type of love I feel like and maybe someday it'll happen for me. If not, at least I have this awesome jam to listen to.

11. Yup, needed to have an 11. Phil Collins would hold about 5 of the 10-20. He's my second favorite music artist behind 2pac, and basically all of his songs relate to certain aspects of my life and all humans lives. My top 2 are probably Find a Way To My Heart and   True Colors but there are just so many. Tomorrow is Fridays with Phil, don't forget!

That's my list. Whether you agree or disagree the important thing is to always open up your heart and listen to sentimental jams. Nothing better in this world.

The boo's

Good to be back writing on this blog. I wish I had more time to write or that blogging paid the bills. Anyway, tonight I am going to talk about my relationship with two of my best friends in the world, Sarah Sheldon and Dan Saphire. We call each other the "boos" a nickname I think we invented about 6 months after we met. Anytime we are together that is usually how we reference each other. It's strange and awesome and we embrace it.

The friendship Dan, Sarah, and I have is one that I truly believe will last a lifetime.  A lot of people think that your closest friendships are ones with people you've known the longest, but I disagree. Like anything in life it is quality over quantity. I've only known them for a few years but feel like they are two of my best friends I've ever had.

We all met through chance encounters. I met Sarah first through another friend then met Dan through Sarah.  Next to Jimbutta, Dan has become the closest thing I've ever had to a brother. Yes, we have a legit bromance and I'm proud of it. We've had talks of opening up a bar called " Boos bar" once we hit the lotto or my blog goes viral.

Sarah is my rock and next to my mother and sister, there is no woman in the world I respect more. She is the person that always can make me feel better no matter what life throws my way. Her positive energy, sense of humor, and selflessness  is why I always joke about wanting to find Sarah's clone and marry her.

Friendship is the most powerful thing in this world. The center of friendship is love, mutual respect, and a love of Phil Collins. Though Sarah now lives in New York City we are proof that distance does not matter when it comes to friendship.

I am blessed to have some of the best friends a guy can ask for. The reality is most of the friends you meet eventually you lose touch with as life happens(marriage, kids), but the best friends are the ones you'll never lose touch with. I truly believe I'll still be having chats with Dan and Sarah when I'm old and gray and we'll always be there for each other with whatever life throws at us. Boos for life.

Moving On

It's been awhile since my last post and a lot has happened in my life.  The biggest being my breakup with a girl I had been dating for a year. At first I thought I was over it, but have realized that you don't just get over a relationship to a person you care about in a month. I think I was blinded by my desire to be okay with it that I didn't let myself be hurt. I've come to realize that it is okay to be hurt and more importantly, to let yourself hurt. It's part of being able to move on.

The old me would be over analyzing the relationship and thinking about what could have been. Thankfully I think I have matured in that I am looking back at the year I spent with Jessie in a positive way. We had a great relationship and so many great times together. However, I think in both our minds we were not meant to spend a life together. I don't think you realize these things until you take a step back and really analyze the relationship as a whole.

Every relationship is a learning experience.  I can say with confidence that I've learned something from each of my 3 serious relationships in different ways. I feel like I've grown as a person and have no regrets. I am so thankful for my friends and families support through this time. I'm a person who likes/needs to talk about my feelings and everyone in my life has been understanding and supportive. You all are awesome.

I don't know what awaits me in the future, and while the thought can be daunting, I find myself excited for this new chapter in my life. I will always remember the great times I spent with Jessie and the impact she made on my life. I know she will do great things and we will always be a part of each other's history.

Like my good friend Sarah said, " this is the one time in your life you can do whatever you want". It really is true. The world awaits and this is the time to concentrate on myself and what I want to do. I can't wait to see what happens next.

Goodbye Arfa

This is the toughest blog I've ever had to write.  My dog Arfa passed away yesterday at the age of 12 and I'm feeling a type of sadness I've never felt before. I've lost grandparents whom I loved dearly, but for some reason this hits a different nerve. The thing is, I've known this was eventually going to happen for a few months now. Arfa was diagnosed with a tumor back in May and I knew she had at most 6 months to live. However, when I got the call last Friday from my family that she had taken a turn for the worse and we were going to put her down, it was like a ton of bricks crashing down on me. I guess nothing prepares you for losing an immediate family member which Arfa was and always will be.

Instead of going into the pain I'm feeling right now I want to celebrate Arfa's life and relive the good times which were so many.  I still remember the day over 12 years ago when she came home. She was a small little puppy you could practically fit in a purse. From an early age she always was kind of rebellious. She would dig holes in the yard and scratch the garage. One time she even ate the gingerbread cookies that my grandma had sent us! But, you couldn't ever get mad at her when she looked up at you with those sweet innocent eyes.  Any dog owner knows what I mean.

Arfa loved walks more than anything in the world. We could just show say the word "walk" and she'd start spinning around in circles and jumping around.  It always made me so happy watching Arfa so happy. My dad would take her on epic journey's lasting several hours and Arfa would always keep up. I would often take her down to my spot on the river where we would just sit together and watch the river flow by.  Arfa was always very curious about everything.  She would go up to everyone and everything and examine them closely. I think if she could talk she'd have a lot to say. 

Everyone loved Arfa. Everywhere she went we would get stopped and people would want to pet her. On our last walk on Sunday one little girl asked if she could hug Arfa. She greeted any new people that she saw with a sniff and multiple licks and sometimes in her younger days would jump and try to play. Arfa always wanted to play. My dad and I would often chase her around in the backyard. We never could catch her even in her older days.

My whole family had different relationships with Arfa. My own was a very special bond and not just because I gave her extra food(sorry Mom). We'd go on adventures along the river, wrestle in the backyard, chill out and watch TV. Thankfully she couldn't talk because she also was witness to my rebellious high school years when I may have thrown a party or too when my parents were gone. Thanks for keeping our secret Arf!

I think Arfa and I got along so well because we both are very simple beings that enjoy the little things in life and like to explore. We're " Free Birds" and like to go on our own path which sometimes can lead to trouble but always makes life more interesting.

Arfa always showed my family and I unconditional love. It didn't matter what you did or how bad your day was, Arfa would always be there with her tongue out and that little grin on her face.  She would always race to the car and greet me when I got home and watch me as I left. She would lie next to me by the fire in the winter and in her spot underneath the bushes in the summer.

I'll never forget how she always pawed on the back door when she wanted to come in, then would come in and go right back out. It drove my family crazy, but right now I would love nothing more than for her to do it again. I'll never forget how she would bury her head in the snow and the look on her face when she brought it up. I'll never forget her love of belly rubs and the way her eyes would light up when she knew she was about to go for a walk.  She was just so appreciative of everything.

Arfa may have passed away but her legend will always live on. She will always be a part of me and own a piece of my heart. No matter how many dogs I have there will never be another Arfa. I take solace in the fact that Arfa lived a great life and knew she was loved. RIP Arfa. Gone but never forgotten. Legend Forever.