People who can't merge: This happens everyday on my way home on 66. Without fail at least one idiot driver will totally disregard all the signs, and the fact that they are somehow the only car driving in the farthest left lane. Then they will swerve in at the last second causing traffic to be backed up. If you don't know how to merge correctly stay off the roads or move to Nebraska where there is so merging.
People at work who put everything on speaker phone: I can't go into specifics here, but seriously why can't you at least close the door when you are on speaker? Why do we need to hear everything you say? This isn't even for conference calls either. Some people put their hairstylist on speaker. Unless you have some kind of hearing problem show some respect for those around you. It's just amazing how many people in this world are oblivious to common decency. Also, put your damn cell phone on vibrate. I don't need to hear the latest Kesha hit from your cell phone 4 times a day.
Ryan Seacrest: One of my rules is to not hate people I don't know. However, I almost have to break this rule for Ryan Seacrest. Look, the guy is more successful than I will ever be, but there is a 0 percent chance he is a genuine human being and would be chill to hang out with. It is sad we will be bringing in the New Year with him for the next 50 years. By the way, I love Dick Clark but take him off the air. It is ruining his legacy.
The New York Jets, Los Angeles Lakers, and Duke: I hate all these teams. The order depends on the season. Notice I said hate here because we are talking about a team rather than a person. I think it's fine to hate a team but not an individual. Anyway, the Jets suck at life. Sure, they beat the Patriots, but with people like Cromartie and Bart Scott how do Jets fans sleep at night? I used to hate Rex Ryan but his wife does foot fetish videos so I almost feel bad for him.. The Lakers? Let's just say without being gift wrapped Pau, Kobe would still have 3 rings. Is he a great player? Yes. Is he Michael Jordan? That's like saying is Lil Wayne, 2pac. It's just foolish. As for Duke, well they are Duke. I have no real reason to hate them besides the fact that I'm a UNC fan which yes makes me a sports hater. We all are in some ways whether you want to admit it or not.
711 Hot Dogs: You may think I love 711 Hot Dogs but the reality is I hate them with all my heart. I hope the inventor of the 711 Hot Dog did not live a good life. It's a terrible addiction that I hope to break completely someday. There is nothing worse for you in the world besides maybe Taco Bell.
The term FML: One of my biggest pet peeves is people who complain about meaningless stuff. FML, my coffee wasn't hot enough. FML my hair dryer broke. There are people starving in Africa. Shut up and gain some perspective. The fact that you are posting on Facebook means you have a computer which means you are probably more fortunate than 95% of the world.
Reality TV: I know, this must mean I'm a hater right? No, the reason I watch TV is to get away from reality. I don't want to watch stuff I could do on my own. I could bring some of my friends in on a Friday night and be more entertaining than 90 percent of these reality shows. It's not the reality shows fault, it's the consumers for being too bored with their lives that they have to watch others. I miss the days of Fresh Prince of Bel Air and Step by Step.
Modern Music: There is some good stuff out there, and it is better than it was 5 years ago. but the stuff on the "hit" music stations is pretty much crap. Kesha? Do people seriously like her. I heard a song from her and thought it was a joke but apparently she's the number 1 artist in the country. The only reason these songs are "good" is because of the beats which are made by the producers. The producers are better than ever now because of the technology. Makes me even sadder that 2pac wasn't alive now. Who knows the amazing stuff he could've done(tear).
People that like to hate stuff for no apparent reason: I know, didn't I just write about 10 things I hated? Yes, but I could back each of these up with 15 examples. A lot of people like to hate stuff because something is popular. For example, saying they hate Leonardo Dicrapio in the Titanic. Really, well why? The guy played his role perfectly and if you didn't shed a tear when Kate let him go at the end you probably don't have a soul. Or Facebook is so lame? Really, actually Facebook is freaking awesome and is one of the best inventions of the last decade. How else would I post my Beer Pong Tournament invites?
At the end of the day life is awesome but you can't like stuff without disliking stuff too. That's life in a nutshell.
Alright bro, GREAT blog. These are so on point that I could not even argue with most of this. Although UNC is like the NY Yankees of NCAA basketball, and Duke is like the BoSox, I understand... you're a Yankees lover at heart. And sure, you can't hate on Leo in Titanic. But you can hate on Leo in Romeo + Juliet... and the ENTIRE movie Titanic. No, I didn't shed a tear when Kate let him go. I was just happy that the G-D boat was finally sinking. But ZOMG, I totes agree with this cra-cra list! 7/11 hotdogs are totes noms!
ReplyDeletePretty hilarious but I gotta disagree on Seacrest! He is the man – the white Diddy! Sure he might be a d-bag to hang out with (who knows though?) but it’s also possible some of the people you do like are d-bags in person too! We will never know (unless we meet them of course):)
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