Thursday, January 27, 2011

Things I don't like

Life is awesome for the most part. There are a lot of terrible things going in the world, but at the end of the day I still get to listen to 2pac and Phil Collins and watch the Celtics.  However, some things I really dislike. Hate is a strong word and there is too much of it in this world already. But these things below, as the great Peter Griffin would say, "really grind my gears."

People who can't merge: This happens everyday on my way home on 66.  Without fail at least one idiot driver will totally disregard all the signs, and the fact that they are somehow the only car driving in the farthest left lane. Then they will swerve in at the last second causing traffic to be backed up. If you don't know how to merge correctly stay off the roads or move to Nebraska where there is so merging.

People at work who put everything on speaker phone: I can't go into specifics here, but seriously why can't you at least close the door when you are on speaker? Why do we need to hear everything you say? This isn't even for conference calls either. Some people put their hairstylist on speaker. Unless you have some kind of hearing problem show some respect for those around you. It's just amazing how many people in this world are oblivious to common decency. Also, put your damn cell phone on vibrate. I don't need to hear the latest Kesha hit from your cell phone 4 times a day.

Ryan Seacrest: One of my rules is to not hate people I don't know. However, I almost have to break this rule for Ryan Seacrest. Look, the guy is more successful than I will ever be, but there is a 0 percent chance he is a genuine human being and would be chill to hang out with.  It is sad we will be bringing in the New Year with him for the next 50 years. By the way, I love Dick Clark but take him off the air. It is ruining his legacy.

The New York Jets, Los Angeles Lakers, and Duke: I hate all these teams. The order depends on the season. Notice I said hate here because we are talking about a team rather than a person. I think it's fine to hate a team but not an individual.  Anyway, the Jets suck at life. Sure, they beat the Patriots, but with people like Cromartie and Bart Scott how do Jets fans sleep at night? I used to hate Rex Ryan but his wife does foot fetish videos so I almost feel bad for him.. The Lakers? Let's just say without being gift wrapped Pau, Kobe would still have 3 rings. Is he a great player? Yes. Is he Michael Jordan? That's like saying is Lil Wayne, 2pac. It's just foolish. As for Duke, well they are Duke. I have no real reason to hate them besides the fact that I'm a UNC fan which yes makes me a sports hater. We all are in some ways whether you want to admit it or not.

711 Hot Dogs: You may think I love 711 Hot Dogs but the reality is I hate them with all my heart. I hope the inventor of the 711 Hot Dog did not live a good life.  It's a terrible addiction that I hope to break completely someday. There is nothing worse for you in the world besides maybe Taco Bell.

The term FML: One of my biggest pet peeves is people who complain about meaningless stuff. FML, my coffee wasn't hot enough. FML my hair dryer broke. There are people starving in Africa. Shut up and gain some perspective. The fact that you are posting on Facebook means you have a computer which means you are probably more fortunate than 95% of the world.

Reality TV: I know,  this must mean I'm a hater right? No, the reason I watch TV is to get away from reality. I don't want to watch stuff I could do on my own. I could bring some of my friends in on a Friday night and be more entertaining than 90 percent of these reality shows. It's not the reality shows fault, it's the consumers for being too bored with their lives that they have to watch others. I miss the days of Fresh Prince of Bel Air and Step by Step.

Modern Music: There is some good stuff out there, and it is better than it was 5 years ago. but the stuff on the "hit" music stations is pretty much crap.  Kesha? Do people seriously like her. I heard a song from her and thought it was a joke but apparently she's the number 1 artist in the country. The only reason these songs are "good" is because of the beats which are made by the producers. The producers are better than ever now because of the technology. Makes me even sadder that 2pac wasn't alive now. Who knows the amazing stuff he could've done(tear).

People that like to hate stuff for no apparent reason: I know, didn't I just write about 10 things I hated? Yes, but I could back each of these up with 15 examples. A lot of people like to hate stuff because something is popular. For example, saying  they hate Leonardo Dicrapio in the Titanic. Really, well why? The guy played his role perfectly and if you didn't shed a tear when Kate let him go at the end you probably don't have a soul.   Or Facebook is so lame? Really, actually Facebook is freaking awesome and is one of the best inventions of the last decade. How else would I post my Beer Pong Tournament invites?

At the end of the day life is awesome but you can't like stuff without disliking stuff too. That's life in a nutshell.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Things I love

A lot of people like to hate stuff in life.  I'm not sure why they are so angry, but obviously they must not listen to enough Phil Collins or do enough kayaking.  Anyway, I thought I'd write a few things about stuff I like. The world is a messed up place but it's important to remember that all in all life can be pretty great.

Kayaking on the Potomac: Everyone should have a place in life they can go to relax and contemplate the meaning of life.  For me it is the Potomac River. Sure, the water is dirty,and there are now supposedly Bull Sharks roaming around, but I'll be going kayaking on that river until I'm 97.

Sam Adams Cherry Wheat and Sam Adams White Ale. I love all Sam Adam's beers(except the Chocolate one) but these are the best. If I could have one drink for the rest of my life it would be ice cold lemonade. My second choice, Sam Adams Cherry Wheat though you can really only drink like 3 of those. Sam Adams White Ale is one of the most underrated drinks ever made. It's only out for about 4 weeks in the spring so check it out.  The Blueberry Beer at Boston Beer Works is outstanding as well.

Dunkin Donuts Coffee: My love for Dunkin Donuts is hard to explain in words. If I ever become rich I will buy the franchise. Every Saturday and Sunday morning you can find me at the Cherrydale Dunkin Donuts buying an extra large coffee cream and sugaaa with a sesame bagel. It is like clockwork. Starbucks can suck it.

The Boston Celtics: I like everything about this team and franchise. Larry Bird can walk on water in my book.  The current squad is just so damn likeable. From Big Baby taking charges, to Kevin Garnett scowling at people, to Rajon Rondo being awesome at everything. Frankly not liking Rondo is similar to not liking Santa Clause or not liking free pizza. You are crazy if you don't.  I love them and am so proud to be a fan.

Baths: I always get a strange look when I tell people I take bath's. I don't understand why it is weird. It's relaxing and feels good and there are few things better in life better than drinking a cold beer, with a good book, in the bath tub. It must be one of those things people don't like because they think it's not cool to do it. Just do whatever feels good and who gives a crap.

2pac, Phil Collins, Bob Seger, Rod Stewart, and Tom Petty: An eclectic mix I know, but each one brings something different to the table. I listened to only 2pac for four straight years in high school and while he is still the best music artist ever, these other four are close.  The important thing in life is to love music whether it be crazy emo stuff, country, rap or classical. Music makes everything better. Except Justin Beiber, he doesn't make anything better. Though his song with Ludacris is kind of catchy.

Honest people: I like people that don't beat around the bush. Say what you mean.  Screw manners and tell me the truth to my face. Except if you don't like bald people, then just lie to me.

Office Space: For my money the greatest comedy of all time with Dumb and Dumber and Ace Ventura a close second. This movie is a comedy but also a documentary on office life. Should be required viewing for anyone about to enter the Corporate World.

There are a lot more things I like, but this article is getting Bill Simmons lengthy (love Bill Simmons by the way). The important thing in life is to be passionate about stuff. Don't like stuff, love it. That's what life is all about.