Sunday, March 29, 2009

Being friends with an ex

What a great weekend! It was such a beautiful day today, and was a great feeling being out on the Potomac river soaking up the sunshine, drinking a few cold beers, and listening to great music with good company. What I've realized while working in the corporate world is you have to live for the weekends, so days like this are precious. I feel like in college the work is never really done. I used to hate having to study or do papers on a Sunday night. What made this day even better was UNC beating Oklahoma and advancing to the Final 4. You can read more about my thoughts on that game in my sports blog.

Lately I've found myself constantly thinking and talking about my blog. I must be annoying my friends because whenever a thought or idea comes up in conversation I immiedately say " that is going in the blog." The most complicated aspect is trying to make it sincere and honest, while making sure people like my mom and dad can read it without being completely offended. The journal I've kept for the last 2 years is a bit too revealing, but I'm looking for something in between. I guess I will figure it out in time.

On to my topic of the day. As some of you know I recently broke up with my girlfriend of about a year and a half. I've been up and down about it for the last few weeks, but have realized lately that breaking up was the best thing to do for both of us. I still love her and will always love her but we were not right for each other at this point in our lives. I've been in two serious relationships in my life and unfortunately was not able to maintain a friendship with my first ex. I am hoping that Hayley and I can still be friends because she is a wonderful person and fun to hang out with. I think it is possible to be friends with an ex as long as both people have the same expectations. If one person is expecting to get back together and the other is not, it can never work. The good thing with us is we both realized, and probably have for awhile that it was not working out, so it made it a little easier. I think you realize a lot after you step away from a relationship, that you didn't while you were in it. It is almost like you have blinders on during the relationship because you love the person and choose to ignore what is really going on. Sometimes I think people love the idea of the person they are with, hoping that the person will change into who they want. If that is the case, it is a clear sign of a relationship that is going to fail. I really wish the best for Hayley Shelton and will always be there for her, as I know she will for me. She has truly changed my life forever and I will always be thankful for that.

I'm excited to start this new chapter of my life and I already feel really good. I think a lot of times people settle in life because it is comfortable. People should not be afraid to take a chance, to put thereselves out there and be okay with rejection. I've always believed in having no regrets and so far in my life I really don't. I do live in the past a little bit too much, but I think I've used my experiences and failures to be a better man now. I always want to stay true to myself and who I am, even if it isn't the norm. Also, though relationships are hard and breakups even harder, I think it is important to have those experiences so you can learn from your mistakes and know what you want in another person. I still screw up a ton and will probably never be able to break all of my bad habits, but at least I recognize what they are now, and know what I am looking for in a person. At this point in my life I'm just trying to have fun and figure out what I want to do with my life. I love writing this blog and think blogging is the future of sports media. I have gotten really good feedback from most readers and encourage it to keep coming.

I have so much to say about this and other topics but will save it for future blogs. I already have about 15 ideas in the queue to write about later. One of the topics is my father and how he is my hero and the man I hope I can be one day. I am so lucky to have such caring parents who have always been there for me and always will. I hope everyone had as good a weekend as me and I will write again probably tomorrow night. Please check out my sports blog as well if you have some extra time. Have a great night and go Tarheels!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009


When one tries to recount their life, it's strange how some things are etched into your memory and others aren't. Little things that seem to have no significance are so clear, yet major events tend to be forgotten. I don't have any good memories of my prom or college graduation, but I can remember exactly what the weather was last summer when I saw the flamingos at the zoo. Life is strange that way, people come in and out of your life, you develop new interests, you have heartbreaks, you break hearts. I guess the only thing definite in life is that it will always catch you by surprise. Sometimes I miss the good old days when you were a kid and everything was so simple. When having a good time wasn't going to a bar, but rather playing flashlight tag in the backyard. When the concept of love or what the future would hold didn't matter, but you simply lived life day to day and had fun. At the same time, growing older and developing those lasting friendships and relationships with people is extremely gratifying. I've been lucky enough to meet some of the best guys and girls out there and they all affect my life in a different way.

A lot of people aspire to be rich and famous, but for me it's different. I think a lot of times people think professional athletes and celebrities have the most fulfilling lives. They get the glamour, the money, the girls, the fame. But I think it's the normal everyday people like you and me that live the most fulfilling lives. There is nothing more important then lasting friendships and relationships in this world. I've always believed in quality over quantity. Having three or four great friends is better than having twenty aquaintances. It all comes down to who you can count on at the end of the day to have your back no matter what. I can honestly say I have people in my life that I wouldn't trade anyone for.

I know this blog is kind of corny and sappy but that is in essence who I am. I'm a sentimental guy that will never hide my feelings. It's funny to me that people are so scared to speak their mind and be honest. If people don't like it then screw them they aren't worth it. Even though I'm going through kind of a tough time right now, in reality I'm one of the luckiest people in the world. I think a lot of people take life for granted. Little things in life that may seem significant are really nothing compared to what others are going through in this world. I'm lucky enough to have great friends, a great family, and my health. I've had the opportunity to do things most people in this world would never have the chance to do. I think if we all started appreciating things in life more we would be a greater society as a whole. Before I leave tonight, I want to just say that writing a blog or a journal is such a cathartic experience. As a person who often says the wrong thing, I feel like written words is sometimes the only way I can truthfully communicate what I feel. I hope you enjoyed this blog because there will be many more to come.


If you ever find yourself feeling sentimental here are a few tunes to put on.
When A Man Loves a Woman-Percy Sledge
Have A little Faith In Me- John Hiatt
Stand By Me-B.B King
In Too Deep-Phil Collins

I'm out, more to come later this week, have a great night!