Sunday, March 27, 2011

How do douchebags not realize it?

I've always been fascinated by douchebags. The definition of douchebag according to Wikipedia is "a person, usually male, with a variety of negative qualities, specifically arrogance and engaging in obnoxious and/or irritating actions, most often without malicious intent. Who writes these Wikipedia entries anyway?

For me it's simply a person that is just not chill. I don't get how people don't realize they are douchebags. The lack of self awareness in people is pretty shocking.

Douchebags can take on many different faces. The number one sign you are a douche is arrogance. Usually these people actually have very low self esteem so overcompensate and try to act like they are the shit. These people are the worst. The second is loudness. Okay, some people can't help it, but don't you hate that dude at the bar that just screams and shouts about everything. It's all about attention. That is what these people want.

The third is maintenance. If you spend 45 minutes gelling your hair and spraying cologne all of over yourself you probably are a douche. Also, people that lie about how much action they get are douches. If you have to lie about that stuff the chances are you barely get any.  Even if you do its from a girl that likes douche bags so there's nothing to brag about. Though I will say some girls seem to really be attracted to the douchebag race but that is for another blog.

Anyone who pops their collar is usually a douche. I know that is generic to say but why do people actually do that? Don't give me the BS excuse that you didn't know you were doing it. It takes effort to pop a collar. In my opinion, the reason is for attention and to get girls. That's another thing, anytime a person sacrifices who they are to attract a girl it is being a douche. Look, we all want to look good in front of the ladies, but don't sell your soul. Girls can usually pick up on this anyway.

I always wonder how people like this can wake up in the morning and not realize they are a douche. Do they just not care? What goes on in their head? It's truly amazing to me how many of these people populate the world. I wonder if it is something in a person's DNA or just how they are raised or maybe just who they surround themselves with. Is this something that can be cured? The sad thing is douchebags usually don't know even know they have the disease. There are probably a few douche's reading this article. Please feel free to comment.


  1. Karl, you ask a very important question at the end: is being a douche a result of nature (DNA) vs nurture (their environment and their upbringing). I think you should start a psych study on this to find the cause of douchebaggery since it's a horrible epidemic that is sweeping our nation.

  2. It's sweeping nations worldwide. I have to say my vote goes to nurture and an occasion.

  3. Karl, I think that your points are well made... well, mostly. I think that arrognace and being loud are true signs of being a douche - whether it's the spiky-hair, spray tan kind or the popped-collar, aviator sunglasses kind. I can't go with you on the maintenance point. Just because a guy like to take care of himself doesn't mean that he's a douche - and likewise, not all douches take care of themselves.

    p.s. This Friday, I'll pop my collar on my pink polo and wear aviators and make sure that my hair is perfectly coiffed... just for you.

  4. Haha Karl. I think some people strugglew ith finding their identity and their views are flawed when it comes to what is a true "role model" vs. douchebag. I think douchebags try too hard to be cool when they clearly are anything BUT cool. Valid points, good post!

  5. Very nice this blog!
    visit our blog at