Monday, June 29, 2009

Can People Change?

I want to start off with some sad news. My dog Arfa has a tumor and has to wear a protective mask for the next 2 weeks. She is an outdoor dog, but now can't be out of the house for more than a few minutes because the bugs could infect her further. We find out if it is benign or malignant this weekend, so I'm hoping for the best. It's crazy how dogs become such a part of the family.

Anyway, tonight's entry hits really close to home for me. If you all haven't noticed by now, most of my blogs discuss life in general, but in reality are based upon my own experiences. None more so than the topic tonight. Can people change? The answer to that is like many questions in life, yes and no. For a person to change they not only have to want to change for themselves, but have to make sacrifices in their own life. Also, there are only certain things people can change. A person can put more effort into a relationship, learn to cook, help around the house more. But personality wise, if a person hasn't changed by the time their out of college, it just isn't going to happen. Maybe they can for a day or two, but in the long run you can't teach an old dog no tricks. Whoever came up with that line knows what they are talking about.

We have all heard that "you can't change a man" and unfortunately that is for the most part true. In both of my relationships my girlfriends kept waiting for me to change into the person they envisioned, but it just never happened. I think that is the difference between men and women. Women always think guys can change, or rather hope they can. Men pretty much accept the fact that their woman is going to be a certain way. I'm convinced this is why most relationships end. The woman stays because she thinks the man is going to change. She loves the idea of the man more than the man himself. In turn, the woman gives him so many chances that the man has no real motivation to change anything he is doing because he knows she will always come back. Does this make sense? More often that not women will be more committed and serious in relationships, therefore will be looking for "the one." While guys are more likely to just go with the flow. Plus, at least for me, I'm always joking around and never take life too seriously which never bodes well in a relationship.

Don't get me wrong here, not all guys are like that. I for one hope I can change someday in a few ways. For the most part though, I hope that I can meet a woman that accepts my faults, which are many, and appreciates me for the good things. Right now there probably aren't many positive qualities, but I hope at some point the good outweighs the bad. I'm always going to be a simple guy who would rather be kayaking with a good book, then out socializing at a bar. I prefer a cheap sandwich shop to a fancy upscale restaurant. I'll always be cheap and careful with my money, I'll always prefer small groups to big ones. These are things I can't change and never want to change. I would like to become a less selfish person. I hope I can become more optimistics and focus on the positive. I'd like to be a little less messy and learn to cook more than basic spaghetti or chicken dishes. I'd like to continue to branch out in my music tastes and go to places I'd never been. These are all great goals, the hard part is turning those goals into reality.

At the end of the day you are who you are. It breaks my heart that so many women out there wait around for their man to change, when usually it won't happen. I consider myself a pretty nice person, but I have a ton of faults, and I'm not the right guy for a lot of women. The important thing is to recognize what faults you can and can't live with in a person, and move on from there. I'm thankful that at least now I realize there are things I can change. I have a certain someone to thank for that. In the end, don't change for anyone else but yourself. Even if you try changing for someone else it won't last.

Some people may wonder why I write these blogs. What is the point right. I guess the reason is because I'm hoping that by writing my thoughts on paper maybe I'll finally figure it out for myself. I hope everyone had a great weekend and please keep reading!

Next blog: Random pet peeves

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